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J UNE 2022 InTouch | 7 The storming beast ruled the rooms and only I could see the eggshells I walked on. Family and friends were discouraged but I was told they wanted to interfere, the truth was I wanted them to see “into my fear”. My son spent most of his time wrapped in my arms as that was the safest place. Hope was on the horizon with a positive sign on the pregnancy test stick. At 19 , my pregnant belly was growing but the beast didn’t change. This was the last chance for any person to grow in my body due to my health and here she was …. growing, protected and loved. At 19 and a half , I sat and stared out the window next to the phone. I had no idea what to do. How can Women’s Refuge help? At 20 , I packed the car with as much as I could fit in it, around the newborn baby and a toddler, and drove into the night, picking up a ferry ticket my Dad had bought for me. At 21 , I stomped on those eggshells and crushed every one of them in court. The beast lay like a kitten, helpless and his claws only for looks. I’ve reflected on those few years and often wondered what did I miss? That wasn’t how I saw my future panning out, or how I thought marriage should be. When we look at where we are right now, will we regret it? Or do we smile. At 44 , I am here today, and I found my voice. I found my backbone. But most importantly I found myself! I have grown up. I am happy and free… Now, what exciting things will life bring. Written and lived by Talitha Vial otherwise... but I knew the expectations were non- negotiable. My baby would be loved and safe … only I saw the eggshells. At 18 , I had a newborn baby and eggshells were in every room now. Apparently, the names I was called were just funny, the beast helped me with my clothes every day, however it was not what I wanted to wear or how I wanted to do my hair. But I was a good wife... and I was a grown up now! He wanted me to be near him, but I didn’t think taking the keys and hiding them from me after locking the doors was hugely necessary, was it keeping the world out or me in? “I will wait till he goes to sleep to find the keys!”, I thought to myself. At 18 and a half , with a baby and a body that won’t move due to a diagnosis of a neurological condition called Myasthenia Gravis, my ability to protect my baby was my only focus during my sleep deprived day. I wasn’t sleep deprived because of my baby, but because I was reminded during the night for hours on end that I was a defective wife. I ducked when cutlery flew at me... I cleaned the dinner off the wall. I washed the hot coffee out of my of my hair and clothes after this was thrown at me for being too hot or too cold for the beast. Did you know pillows hurt when they are thrown at you with speed? And that some objects fly better than others? The gripping of hands around my legs and arms left bruises that were hidden by clothes. I said NO … to no effect. I was the wife. I am here today, and I found my voice. I found my backbone. But most importantly I found myself! I have grown up. I am happy and free… Talitha’s story Talitha took part in the International Toastmasters competition in April 2022, competing against more than 160 other North Island clubs. We are so proud of you Talitha. If you or a loved one are experiencing problems in a relationship, please reach out for help and support. Police: 111 – if you, or someone else, is in immediate danger Raise Mental Health : 0800 735 343 Women’s Refuge : 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 Shine : 0508 744 633